Love for a broken Mate
by Lovely Black Butterfly
Summary: Twilight-After the Phoenix incident: After finally tasting Bella's blood, which is like a drug, Edward changes for the worse. Bella is now broken. Who could love someone so broken? ***GRAPHIC ABUSE AND RAPE*** RATED MA FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. No set pairing.
1. AN

**I want to start by saying, this story is very real to me. After three years of marriage, my husband became addicted to drugs and everything changed for me.**

 **My husband accused me of sleeping with everyone I came in contact with; women, men, delivery people, co-workers, even his friends. For some reason, I started reading abuse fics and all the memories I tried to suppress started coming back, and I felt I needed to write about it.**

 **Some of the abuse I've written is fiction, but a lot of it is very real, like the escapes. It took me three more years before I was free.**

 ********THIS FIRST CHAPTER OUTLINES ABUSE. IF IT'S A TRIGGER FOR YOU, DON'T READ*******

 ********IF YOU ARE TOO PRO-EDWARD THAT YOU CAN'T READ HIM AS EVIL, THIS IS NOT THE FIC FOR YOU I WILL NOT TOLERATE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK OF THE CONTENT. THIS IS MY TRUTH!*******

 ******** GRAPHIC RAPE AND ABUSE. NOT FOR THOSE UNDER THE AGE OF 18*********


	2. When everything changed

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its inclusive material are copyrighted to Stephenie Meyer. Original creations, including but not limited to plot and characters, are copyrighted to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Everything changed for Edward and me after we returned from Phoenix. Edward became even more possessive of me, to the point I had become frightened of him.

While I was healing and Alice was helping me with bathing and dressing, Edward stayed away during the day. At night, after Charlie went to bed was a different story.

At first, when he would come to my room, I would wake up to him sitting in my rocking chair, staring at me with a scowl on his face. When I would ask him what's wrong, he would just shake his head and tell me to go back to sleep. Then, one night he changed.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"You still smell like him. It's why I had to suck the venom out. I couldn't let you be changed by him. When you are changed, you take on the smell of your sire. It also happens when you fuck a vampire. Is that why you still smell of him? You fucked him, didn't you? I should have known you were a slut, just like any other human girl. It's why you ran away to him when you were perfectly safe with Alice and Jasper. I should have just let him kill you." Edward spat. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Edward, I went to him because I thought he had my mom. You saw the video," I said to him with tears pooling in my eyes.

"How do I know it wasn't a setup? To convince me you didn't fuck him first," he said with a growl.

"Edward, I'm still a virgin, you know that. I've never even had a boyfriend before, I'd never even been kissed by a boy until you," I begged him to believe me as I sat up, leaning back on my elbows to get a good look at him.

"Edward, what is wrong with you? Have you gone insane?" I didn't even realize I said the last part aloud. I was actually wondering if vampires could suffer from mental illness when it came out. It wasn't until I heard the growling rumble lowly in his chest that I realized what I'd said.

"Insane? You think I'm insane? I must be insane to ever think you'd be different just because I couldn't hear what you were thinking. Now I know you are just like every other human slut's mind I've heard. I must be insane to think you were saving your virtue, the way you are always trying to get into my pants." He then stood up and came over to the bed and pulled my duvet off. Because of the stupid walking cast I've been forced to wear, instead of sleeping in my usual tattered sweats an t-shirt, I've only been wearing the t-shirt and my panties. With way too much ease, Edward then ripped my panties from my body, tossing the shredded fabric over his shoulder.

"E—E—Edward? What are you doing?" He then clamped his hand roughly over my mouth.

"Shut your filthy mouth slut," Edward said before ramming his fingers into my pussy with so much force it felt like I was being split in two. I screamed from behind his hand, as the tears that were pooling in my eyes slid down my face. After a few more thrusts he pulled his fingers out. He was shocked to see the blood that was coating his fingers. That shock quickly turned to bloodlust as he raveningly sucked his fingers. He then attacked my pussy with his mouth. Licking and sucking as much blood from me as he could get. I always thought when I lost my virginity to Edward, it would be the most loving romantic thing in the world. In my dreams, I never imagined the nightmare that I was now experiencing.

"Bella, love, I'm sorry I didn't believe you. But if you hadn't gone running off to James…and the way you were always trying to get me to…" Was he shitting me!? Was he really blaming me for him just raping me? Was he blaming me for ripping my virginity away from me in the cruelest way I could think of? Not only am I no longer a virgin, but I also got no pleasure from the experience what-so-ever.

"Let me run you a bath love. I will help you get cleaned up," he said before he went across the hall and ran me a bath. He then came back and took off the walking cast, before gently lifting me from the bed and taking me to the bathroom and gently sliding me into the tub. He then gently washed me and got me cleaned up. The warm water helped with the soreness. After he gently dried me off and got me another t-shirt, he sat me in the rocking chair as he changed the bloody sheets. After he placed the cast back onto my leg, he settled me back into bed.

"Bella, you won't tell anyone about this. Do you understand?" he said as he blew his breath into my face, essentially using his vampiric allure on me. All I could do was to nod my head.

"Sleep now, my Bella," he said before slipping out of my window.

"The next morning, I awoke sore, but not sure why. Then I realized, I was not wearing the same t-shirt I went to bed in, and my sheets were changed. I got up and hobbled over to the dresser and got a pair of shorts to put on, before hobbling out of my bedroom and into the bathroom to have my human moments. As I looked in the mirror and saw the bruises around my mouth were Edwards' hand had been, it all started coming back to me. Edward forced himself on me. How was I going to explain this to Charlie? I can't tell Charlie what happened. Charlie will try to shoot him, then Edward _will_ kill Charlie.

Charlie came out of his room, just as I was heading back to my bedroom.

"Good Morning…" Charlie paused as he looked at my face.

"Bells, what happened to your face?" he asked with a scowl. I really didn't know what to tell him.

"Um, I'm not really sure Ch—Dad. I woke up, and it was bruised like that. Maybe I slept wrong." I told him. Even I knew that sounded stupid as it came out of my mouth. Charlie just quirked an eyebrow at me and exhaled sharply.

"Well, let's get you downstairs before Alice gets here. I have to be at the station early so I won't have breakfast with you. I'll just pick something up at the diner." I had been afraid to try and navigate the stairs in the walking cast. I had trouble enough walking on good legs, so Charlie carried me downstairs every morning to wait for Alice. He placed me down in the kitchen, and I hobbled around to make myself some breakfast while I waited for Alice.

"Have a good day, kiddo. I'll bring home a pizza so you won't have to cook. Oh, and by the way, Billie and Jake are coming by to watch the game. See ya later, Bells," Charlie said as he hugged me before heading out the door

After I'd made myself some breakfast and sat down on the sofa to watch some mindless daytime tv, I heard the car pull up in the driveway, signaling Alice was here. Only this time it wasn't Alice, it was Edward. I could feel the hackles standing up on the back of the neck. He came into the house like he was supposed to be there.

"Good morning, Love," he said as he leaned down to kiss me. I pulled back not wanting to kiss him. I then saw his nostrils flare.

"Why do I smell Charlie all over you? Are you so desperate now that I've taken your virginity that you're fucking your father?" I looked at him like he'd grown two heads.

"Edward, that's sick, even for you. Charlie carries me downstairs every morning, so I don't trip on the stairs. That's why you smell him. He does love me after all, so don't be surprised if you smell him as he hugs his daughter before he leaves for work. I don't know what's gotten into you Edward, but I don't like it. Ever since this incident, you've been acting strangely. Maybe you were right. I don't think this is goi…" Before I was able to get out what I was trying to say, Edward had grabbed me by my t-shirt and pulled me off the sofa, so I was directly in his face. His eyes were pitch black, and his face was contorted. For the first time, I saw the monster he kept telling me he was.

"Oh no, little girl. I gave you your chance. Several chances, as a matter of fact. Now that I've had your blood, you belong to me. I will do what I want to you when I want. If you tell anyone, I will fucking kill you. Then I will snap Charlie's neck and then go to Florida and fuck and drain that sassy little mother of yours. I'm sure she will enjoy it while it lasts since she's nothing but a whore and trained her daughter to be a whore." He then threw me over his shoulder and took me upstairs to the bathroom. I tried to kick and scream, but that only hurt my leg.

"Shut your fucking mouth, whore," he said as he smacked me so hard on my ass I thought he may have shattered my hip. Once in the bathroom, he stuffed a washcloth into my mouth. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out two sets of handcuffs. He cuffed each of my wrists to the shower rod before slicing my t-shirt straight down the middle. He then ripped my shorts and panties off of me before unzipping his pants and letting them drop to his ankles. He then rolled a condom on before spreading my legs and ramming his cock into me.

The pain from last night was nothing compared to this. It was like someone stuck a hot dagger into my pussy. I was spared any more conscious pain after that as everything faded to black.

The next time I was aware of anything, I was in my bed, and Edward was standing over me with cookies and juice. When my eyes focused on his face, I scrambled to try and get away from him.

"You don't want to make me angry again. Take your snack, blood bag," Edward said as he shoved to juice glass and cookies into my hands.

"Why are you doing this. The rest of the family won't let you get away with this," I told him as I began to drink the juice. He then sat on the bed and pulled a tube of something out of his pocket. He then started to smooth cream over the places on my body that showed bruises that could be seen without clothing.

"You really are a stupid girl. You think they really give a damn about you? They've left and gone back to Alaska. They think I've gone off to sulk because you didn't want anything to do with the family after James. I told them us being here was a mistake and made them leave. So now, I have you all to myself. Remember, you will tell no one about this, or you know what will happen," He said as he got right up in my face and I could feel his breath on me. As his sweet breath came across my face, I thought I was going to be sick. I used to love the way it smelled, it turned my stomach.

"You father will be home soon, sleep my Bella," he said as he breathed his breath on me again. Soon my eyes were heavy, and I could do nothing but sleep.

"Bells!" I was awakened by my dad calling out to me when he got home. I put the covers over my head and turned my back to the door. I then heard his footfalls as he came up the stairs. There was a tap on my door before I heard it crack open.

"Bells, I brought pizza. Billy and Jake are here. Would you like me to help you come downstairs so you can spend some time with Jake?" Charlie said from the door. I had to try and keep my voice from trembling.

"No, Dad. I'm not feeling too well tonight. I think I just want to sleep," I told him while holding back tears.

"Okay, honey. Do you need me to call Dr. Cullen to come to check on you?" Charlie asked concern etched in his voice.

"No, Dad. I'll be fine. I just need to sleep." I told him.

"Oh, kiddo. I'll just send Jake up later with a slice of pizza in case you get hungry," I tried to protest, but the Charlie had already closed the door, and I heard his footfalls going back downstairs. I was so tired and depressed I soon drifted back to sleep. I don't know how much later, there was another tap on the door.

"Go away, I'm not hungry," I said groggily.

"Okay, Bella. I just wanted to say hi and bring you something to eat," Jake said quietly

"Thanks, Jake, you can just leave it," I told him. I didn't realize my duvet was not covering my back and my t-shirt must have risen up.

"Bella, what happened to your back?" Jake asked as he came in and closed the door. I quickly pulled the covers, so I was completely covered.

"Nothing Jake. This stupid walking cast. I fell on the stairs," I told him.

"Bullshit, Bella! That's a handprint," Jake said as he tried to lift the cover. I scrambled to the other side of the bed.

"Don't touch me! Get out of my room!" I quietly hissed at Jake. Jake raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry, Bells. But if you need to talk, about anything. I'm here. You can always call me,"

"Thanks, Jacob, but please, just go away," I told him. I then heard the door quietly close. I began to sob, stifling it into my pillow.

Charlie was at my door the following day before the sun was up. "Bells, I have to go to work early. Are you going to be okay until Alice gets here?"

"Alice isn't coming anymore Dad. The Cullens are moving back to Alaska," I told him, never turning over.

"Aww geez, kiddo. Do you want me to call Sue Clearwater and see if she can come and sit with you? I hate to leave you here all alone," Charlie said.

"No, Dad, I'll be fine. I really can manage on my own. This is no worse than when I was with Reneé. I've always been able to take care of myself," I told him.

"You sure about that, Bells? Jake said something about a bruise on your back and something about you falling down the stairs," Charlie said with concern written on his face. I became angry then.

"Jacob needs to mind his own business!" I snapped at him.

"Bella?" Charlie started.

"Dad, please, I'm fine. Just go to work," I told him in an apologetic tone.

"Okay, kiddo. Call me if you need me, I'll come home when I can," I didn't reply. There was silence before he closed the door.

As soon as I heard the cruiser pull out of the drive, I was out of bed. I had to get away from here. I didn't know where I was going to go, but I knew I had to leave. I hobbled out of bed and over to my closet. I pulled out every duffle bag I had and began packing as many clothes in them as I could. One by one I tossed them down the stairs. I then went into the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth before packing up my bath products and tossing them into a bag along with some books. I threw on something easy to manage with my leg, a comfortable t-shirt dress, before putting a sneaker on my good foot. I made sure I had my bank book, debit card and passport in my wallet, before tossing it in the last bag. I went to the stairs and sat down on the landing. No need to kill myself by falling down the stairs trying to escape. I had just started scooting down the stairs on my butt one by one when the door to my room flung open.

"Going somewhere?" I heard his growling voice from behind me. I could only close my eyes and hang my head.

"Do I need to break your other leg to keep you in place?" Edward said as he scooped me up from the stairs.

"No, please, Edward. I promise to be good," I cried as he carried me back into the bedroom.

"No, I don't think you will. I think I need to teach you how to be a good girl," He said as he laid me back down on the bed. This time, he set a bag down on the bed and pulled out leather belts with wool on the inside. He then stripped me of my clothes before strapping the belts to my thighs. He then fastened my wrists to other cuffs that were attached to the belts on my thighs. I was unable to move. So I just laid there and let him do to me whatever he pleased.

After undressing himself, he laid on top of me. This time, I don't remember him using a condom, before ramming his cock into me. He never checked to see if I was wet first. The look in his eyes was wild and filled with anger. It was then I noticed his eyes were no longer their beautiful topaz but ringed with red. He then took his fingernail and began to carve over my left breast. He then placed his mouth over the cut and began suckling as he continued to fuck me.

I could tell he didn't finish, and before I knew what was happening, he flipped me over to lay on my stomach. The way I was shackled, my ass was sticking up in the air.

"Edward, please don't. I will do whatever you want, just please not that, I begged him through sobs.

"Is that so?" he asked. He then flipped me back over to lay on my back and straddled my torso.

"You will swallow what I give you, then you will lick me clean, you little cum slut," he said as he pinched my nostrils closed. I had no choice but to open my mouth, where he shoved his cock with such force I was afraid he would chip my teeth.

"There are rumors that vampires can get human women pregnant. Can't have you getting pregnant with a little demon mistake now, can we? But I wanted to feel that warm pussy of yours surrounding my cock. So I will either cum in your mouth or in that tight little ass of yours. I wasn't sure if I could take you in your ass without killing you, so I guess this is better," he said as he continued to thrust forcefully in and out of my mouth

"Fuck, Bella. Your mouth is just as warm and good as that pussy of yours. I could do this every day. This will give your pussy time to heal." He then pinched my nose again as he forced himself down my throat. I felt myself gagging as the thick liquid was forced down my throat. As soon as he pulled out of my mouth, I was vomiting.

"Oh, you filthy human! I should make you lick that up like the filthy dog you are!" He said as he got off the bed and went into the bathroom, leaving me there in the filth. After he was done. He came and unshackled me and took me into the bathroom. He shoved me in and close the door.

"Clean yourself up, while I clean up this mess you made in the bed," he yelled through the door.

I turned on the hot water, and as I waited for it to heat up, I looked in the mirror. Edward had carved his initials over my left breast. I gaped in horror. He and marked me as his. I soon realized there was no hot water, so I had to take a cold shower. I didn't know how much I could take of this, but I had to. I couldn't let him do this to my mom or kill my dad. I got myself into this, it was up to me to endure.

Next week, I would be going back to school. Maybe I could find a way to let someone know what was going on then.

Monday morning came, and I expected Edward to drive up in his Volvo to take me to school. Then I realized, of course, he wouldn't. My Dad thought they left town. They all did except Edward, but my Dad didn't know that. It then came to me, why hadn't Alice seen this happening to me? Maybe Edward was telling the truth, but still, if they claimed to love me, how could they just let him do this to me. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I didn't recognize the face I saw staring back. My eyes had no life in them, and I had circles under my eyes.

"Bella, are you sure you are okay to go to school. Honey, you've been moping around all weekend. If you're not ready, I can call out for you for a few more days if you want," Charlie said as I came downstairs.

"No, Dad. It's time to get back to the real world," I told him. Besides, how am I going to let anyone know how much danger I'm in if I don't try?

"Okay, kiddo. Well have a good day, and if you need me, call me." Nice words, Charlie. I need you now, but there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

As I drove to school, I wondered how long it would take Edward to realize if I just kept going. As if he could read my mind, Edward swung himself into the passenger seat of my truck.

"You will not talk to your friends and tell them anything. I will know if you do. I may not be able to see into your head, but I can read everyone else's mind," Edward warned. It started the first class I had with Mike Newton, which was just after lunch. At first, I thought he was trying to show everyone how sweet he was by walking me to my next class. He was standing waiting for me when the bell rang. My face fell when I recognized the look on his face. There was no emotion showing on his face.

Once I reached him, he grabbed me tightly around the waist and hurriedly escorted me through the hall and out the door.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I looked up at him worriedly. He didn't respond. He just kept walking.

"Edward?" I called out to him. His grip tightened as his hand slid down to my hip. So much so, I knew there would be a bruise. I hissed at the pain.

"Shut up, slut," he hissed back. I was too frightened to say or do anything, I just let him lead me where he wanted us to go. He led me out to the forest, where he first confirmed he was a vampire to me.

He stripped me of my clothes and tied my arms to a tree while on my knees. He first forced me to suck his cock.

"You can't seem to keep that little mouth of yours shut. I heard the thoughts of that fowl Mike Newton. You want to fuck him, too, don't you? Or maybe it's Tyler or that pansy Eric Yorkie? Maybe you'll remember to keep your mouth shut if I keep that mouth filled with my cock," he said his he fucked my mouth. When he was done, he turned me around and fucked my ass. At least he used lube this time.

"Can have you split open now can we," He said as he slid into me.

"Why not, Edward. Why don't you just kill me now and get it over with?" I asked through sobs.

"Is that what you want, hmmm. Then when I'm done with you, I'll just start having my fun with Mommy, or how about your friend Angela? I'm sure she'll enjoy it. I've heard her thoughts. She is nice and shy. Those are always the ones that are wildcats in bed. Just like you, my Bella.

I didn't know what I was going to do. Maybe I should just provoke him and let him kill me. Only then would I be free of him. But would he leave my parents and friends alone?

Over the next week, whenever one of my friends would try to talk to me, I would be punished in some fashion.

Edward had alienated me from my family and my friends. I had no one to turn to. Whenever he needed to leave to hunt, he would go when Charlie worked the late night. He was now on an all human diet and would go to Seattle to feed, so he could leave me naked and handcuffed to the headboard of my bed and would be back before Charlie came home from work. I had to find a way to get free.

One day while Edward and Charlie were away, I searched Charlie's room until I found his extra pair of handcuff keys.

The night I knew Charlie would be working overnight, I pulled my hair up in a messy bun and tucked the handcuff key in my hair because I knew Edward would be shackling me to my bed. I had long stopped fighting him as it did no good and only made things worse.

Edward came through the window as usual and came straight to the bed unzipping his pants as he strode towards me. I wasn't sure what he wanted tonight, my mouth, pussy, or ass, so I just sat there until he told me what to do. I was already naked, just sitting on the bed waiting for him

"Looks like the little whore is finally learning," he said with a sneer. After grabbing my legs and pulling me flat on the bed, he handcuffed my hand straight above my head and fucked me before finishing in my mouth, he got off me and pulled up his pants.

"Try to get some sleep. I'll be back before Charlie gets home to clean you up," he told me before jumping from my window.

I waited for about 30 to 45 minutes to make sure he was gone before I started. I wiggled myself up so my hands could dig into my hair and fished out the keys. It was hard getting to the handcuff locks as the way I had positioned myself, I couldn't see the keyhole. It took me about 10 minutes to get the first handcuff unlocked. Once I was able to get one hand free, it was a breeze after that.

I jumped off the bed and ran to the closet. I didn't have time to bother with packing. I threw on the first pair of jeans and shirt I saw, grabbed my wallet and keys to my truck and I was out the door.

I jumped into my truck and thank God, it started right up. I started driving as fast as my truck could go. I pushed my truck and drove, the whole while looking around making sure he wasn't following me. However, I'm sure if he were on foot, I wouldn't see him anyway. I had to keep myself calm until I felt I was safely out of danger. The first chance I got, I would call Billy and Jake and tell them everything so they could go to Charlie to keep him safe on the reservation. Damn it! If I'd only thought to bring my purse, I could have called from my cell phone.

"YOU STUPID BITCH!" was all I heard before I was yanked through the window of the truck before everything went black.

* * *

 **I am going to let you guys decide, who Bella's Saviour will be. I'm still working out that one, so if you have suggestions, let me know. No one is off limits except the Pack. It can be male or female. I'm leaning towards Carlisle, Emmett or Laurent since I've never written about him. However, one I haven't written yet is Aro as a mate. Also, if you don't like this story, it will end here.**


	3. My addiction

**This Chapter is in Edward POV. How he became addicted to Bella's blood and why. At the end of the chapters. I will tell you a little of my story, and you can piece how they fall within this story**

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The moment I latched onto her wrist in that ballet studio, I was addicted. I couldn't stop. I wouldn't stop. It was Mine!

My senses could tell there were too many vampires around. I had to finish my kill before they tried to take it. But it was like my mind went into tunnel vision. I heard a voice tell me her blood was clean, but my brain couldn't register it. It was only screaming at me _MINE! MINE! MINE!_

Then something clicked. _If you drain her now, there will be no more. You have to keep her alive so there will be more!_ Then for the first time in one hundred years, my body did something I don't think it's ever done. I know it hasn't since I've been a vampire. I got an erection.

I released her arm. This was euphoric. I had to know what it was like to have an orgasm while I drank her blood. I suddenly looked around to see if my family noticed.

I then jumped away from Bella's lifeless body as if it were poison.

"EDWARD!" I heard Carlisle's voice as I ran like a bat out of hell from the ballet studio. Keeping to the shadows, I ran as far and as fast as I could. The sun would set soon, but for now, I needed to keep to the shadows. My family was there to look after Bella. My Bella. My sweet innocent Bella. Look at what I've done to her. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I was a monster and she needed to stay away from me. I warned her, and she wouldn't listen.

I found myself in an alley, palming myself through my pants. Look at me. Look at what she's done to me. I always mocked Emmett for is sexual addiction. All his basal self-gratification. And that beast Jasper. He has a mate, but even he would resort to masturbation from time to time. I never wanted to be like them. Now, here, I have to resort to the same distasteful act.

I unzipped my pants and wrapped my palm around my shaft. I thought about the sweet nectar of Bella's blood. Like honey from the gods, ambrosia as it slid down my throat.

As I released onto the sidewalk below me, I slid down the wall, I had just brace myself against as I came for the first time in my vampiric existence. I placed my head in my hands.

"What have I just done? I drank from my Bella!" Even as I cursed my very existence, I could still taste her on my tongue. Her sweet, warm, fragrant blood. So warm and filling as it hit my stomach. It took everything in me to hold myself where I sat and not go after her again.

I have to get away from her. Get her away from me. But if she goes back to Forks, I'll be too tempted to go back for more. No, she needs to go to Florida with her mother. The almost constant sunshine will be enough of a deterrent to keep me away.

"FUCK HER FOR MAKING ME DO THIS!" I yelled to the heavens.

I stayed there in that alley until the sunset. I called Carlisle to find out where they were.

"Son, I'm glad you're okay. We've taken Bella to Maricopa Medical Center. Her Mother and Father are both on their way. You need to be here, son so we can brief you on the cover story we've come up with." Carlisle said through the phone. I disconnected the call and pulled up the hospital in my phone's GPS, and sprinted there.

As soon as I walked into the hospital, I could smell Bella's blood, and the venom started to pool in my mouth. Then I smelled my family, and I had to suppress the growl that was building low in my chest for the vampires that were too close to my kill. _MY DRUG! MY KILL! MINE!_

I had to shake those thoughts from my mind. She was not my kill, she was my mate. _WHOSE BLOOD BELONGS ONLY TO YOU!_ My beast was roaring in my head. I can't do this. I have to get out of here. I turned to leave when Carlisle called out to me in my head.

"Edward." He then rushed over and enveloped me in an embrace. As I stood there, while the man that sired me showed me so much love and understanding, I look over his shoulder and see the rest of my family and hear their thoughts. The loudest of whom is Emmett. Emmett loved Bella from the start, wants to kill me.

Jasper is apologetic and uncharacteristically understanding. He, along with myself, is the only one who understands truly feeding from humans. Other than his newborn slips and two singers, Emmett doesn't really understand the call of human blood.

Carlisle who has never tasted human blood is of no help to me right now, and Alice her love for Bella as a sister is throwing daggers at me.

"Bella is in surgery now, Edward. The amount of blood she lost, along with her injuries, and she's had to have a blood transfusion. They are operating to repair her broken leg," Carlisle said to me pointedly.

"But I want you to know, son, I'm very proud of you. While it was touch and go, you found the strength to stop through the frenzy." _Way to pour salt into the wound, Carlisle. I only stopped so I could have her blood again later._

" _I know this is hard for you, son. But you may want to go and hunt to bring your eyes back to our familiar color before her father gets here. He should be here in a few hours. It gives you time,"_ I heard Carlisle say to me in my mind. I nod to him, turn and leave the hospital.

How the fuck am I supposed to go back to feeding on deer, now that I've had the sweetest of ambrosia? _AND WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO HUNT IN FREAKING ARIZONA?_

As I run out of the Phoenix metropolitan area, I notice the mountains surrounding the desert and I smell there are mountain lions, elk, deer and bear. None of those smell appealing at this moment. But I have to do something, anything, to take my mind off of Bella and her sweet blood.

I once told Bella her blood was like my own personal brand of heroin. Never did I dream how accurate those words would become. It calls to me. Pulls me to her. And God Almighty, it gives me an erection. My brother's tease me that I must be gay because I've never been with a woman. Hell, I gladly accept being gay. I was beginning to think I was asexual; though, I'd never admitted it to either of those childish twits. Never before had anyone, male or female excited me in this way.

I quickly caught the scent of a male mountain lion and take it down. The blood is warm as it slides down my throat, but it's not enjoyable. No blood will be as satisfying again. I continue to feed until I'm so full I'm sloshy, and I can't move. I've gorged myself on blood, trying to get the taste, feel, smell, and satisfaction of Bella's blood out of my mind.

I find a bear cave and drain the bear, even though I feel like I'm going to throw up if I drink anything else. But I want the cave so I can keep myself out of the sun.

I stay there for three days until the blood has been absorbed by my tissues. I've ignored more than two dozen phone calls from my family. The signal beeps that I'm at 15% battery charge, so I quickly listen to the messages and read the text messages, all saying the same thing.

 _Bella's out of surgery._

 _When are you coming back to Bella?_

 _Bella is asking for you_

 _You need to come back to see about Bella_

 _Bella, Bella, Bella, fucking Bella!_

What about me? Do they even care what I'm going through at the moment? The woman I love was kidnapped by a deranged psycho that happens to like to play with his food. But do I really love her? Or was it the appeal of her blood and her silent mind that has me so intrigued with her?

I place my hands in my already unruly hair and tug so hard it feels as though I will pull it out from the root as I scream at the top of my lungs.

 _Stop it! Stop it! You love her! You've always loved her! She's your mate! It's just that now you've tasted her blood, your mind doesn't know what's real!_ I feel as though I'm going mad! My phone rings yet again. I look at the caller ID and see that it's Carlisle

"WHAT!" I scream into the phone.

"Edward, son. I know you are upset. But you need to come back to the hospital. We've explained to Bella's parents that you and Bella had an argument, which led her to flee Forks. You and I came here to try and persuade her to return home to her Father. She tripped on the stairs and went flying through a plate glass window, which is how she ended up in the hospital. But you need to come back to show that you and Bella are fine now, that you still love her." I think about what he's said.

"Maybe it's better if I didn't return. Her being with us is too dangerous. I've told her it's too dangerous for her to be involved with me and now look what's happened. It's nearly cost her her life. It would be better if she went to live with her mom in Florida."

"Son, you don't mean that. You're just distraught from everything that's happened. Please come back. We're staying at the Royal Palms Resort on Camelback. And son, Bella has been asking for you."

"I KNOW!" I say frustratingly while still tugging on my hair. "Look, I don't have much battery life on my phone. I'm coming to the hotel first. I need to shower and change and recharge my battery. Maybe someone can meet me just outside the hotel with a change of clothes," I say as I look down at my state of disarray. I'm covered in dirt, animal fur, and blood. It's then I realize, I'm still covered in Bella's blood. That's why I can't stop thinking about her blood. I'm covered in it.

"I'll have Alice meet you."

"Thank you, Carlisle. I'll be there in a minute," I tell him and disconnect the call. I sit for a moment and collect myself while running my hand through my hair. (A/N Always have to mention the hair. It's the only thing I personally find appealing with Edward.) I then set out on a sprint to the hotel.

Alice sends me a message that she is at a gas station and that I can change in the men's room, then she will take my bloody clothes out to the desert and burn them. I really do love that little pixie, but I am going to rip her head off, and her husband's for letting Bella slip away from them.

I meet Alice at the location. "You and I are going to have a talk later," I tell her as I take the bag of clothes.

 _I know Edward, and I'm sorry._ Alice says in my mind. Alice waits patiently as I change clothes. I take paper towels and try to wash as much blood off my hands and neck as I can, before stuffing the bloody clothes into the bag.

When I come out of the men's room, I had Alice the bag, and she hands me the card key for my suite before exiting. I watch as she flits across the street. Once she makes it to the first hill range, she takes off for the desert. I turn and go across to the Resort where my family is staying. I look at the cardholder and find the suite I've been assigned. I immediately take off the close I've just changed into and head for the shower.

Once showered, I change into another set of clean clothes, head back down the elevator. Alice is waiting there for me to drive me to the hospital. Once in the car, I plug up my phone to charge and turn to face Alice.

"Alice, how could you let this happen?"

"I'm sorry, Edward. I was caught up in a vision of James that I didn't see her leave. I wasn't watching for her because I knew she was safe with us. She asked Jasper to walk her to the ladies room. He said he was so caught up in all the other emotions coming from the ladies room that he lost her signature in the crowd. He also said he didn't like spying on the emotions coming from there. He said there was deception coming from there, but there were many feelings like that, so he didn't register that they may have been coming from Bella." I listened to what she was saying but decided to put that information away for later. We continued to drive in relative silence to the hospital. But then I hear Alice reciting passages from Romeo and Juliette in Mandarin. Is she deliberately trying to block her thoughts from me?

I try to clear my mind as much as possible with my gift. It's not easy when I hear everyone's thoughts. I have learned over the century to quickly filter out unneeded thoughts, yet I still retain the ones that may be needed for later. It's required for the many years of high school and all the unnecessary thoughts of adolescent humans. It was why, finally not being able to hear Bella's thoughts, had me so intrigued to get to know her.

Once we enter her room, the first thing I notice is that her blood smells different. My nose flares as I continue to take in her scent. Carlisle is there looking over her chart. He gives me a small smile as I enter her room.

I look over to Bella, and she is sleeping. She has a cast on her broken leg. Oxygen tubes are coming out of her nose. But she still looks beautiful.

"How is she, Carlisle?"

"Quite well actually for what she's been through."

"Where are her parent's."

"I sent them to the hotel to get some rest. They've been standing a constant vigil while she was in a coma." I look at Carlisle in panic.

"It's okay son, Her body and brain just needed to heal from the trauma of losing so much blood. She was also concussed. She also needed surgery to repair her leg. Thank God, it wasn't crushed or it may have been much worse. Right now she's just sleeping. She's been awake and asking for you."

"Carlisle, you have to convince her parents that she should move with her mother. It would be safer for her if she were not around us, around me." I look deeply into his eyes, hoping he can see the true meaning in the statement.

"Edward, if she is truly your mate, do you know how difficult it would be for you not to be with her, or her with you. While she is still human, the pull may not be as great, but she will still suffer. I worry how you will handle being away from her. _I know it would literally kill me… Her blood pressure is stable, I need to check her pulse-ox…"_ What just happened? Is Carlisle trying to block his thoughts from me? Why is he now reciting bible passages in Japanese? What is everyone hiding from me?

"Now that you're here, I'm going to take the boys and go for a hunt."

"No, Carlisle! I mean, I would feel better if someone else was here with her as well,"

"Alice will be here shortly. She's actually going back to pick up Charlie and Mrs. Dwyer." I close my eyes and let out a deep unneeded breath at Carlisle's words.

"Okay, but does she really need me here right now? I mean she's not even awake right now."

"Then it's a good thing you'll be here when she does awake, Edward." Carlisle gives me a soft smile as he pats my shoulder before turning to leave the room.

"Carlisle, may I ask you something. Why has the scent of her blood changed?" I watch as Carlisle turns back to the room. His nose flares as he scents the air.

"I think it may have something to do with the blood transfusion. I've never noticed there is a difference in a person's scent once they have a transfusion. I'm sure once the blood cells integrate into her body, it will take on her natural scent." He then leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

I think about what he says, but I don't think that's it. The blood almost has a familiar scent, though it does mix with hers. I now feel stifled in her room. The scent of her blood is permeating throughout the room and into my every pore. The venom starts to pool in my mouth again just thinking about how sweet her blood was as it flowed into my mouth.

Suddenly, like a lightbulb goes on in my brain. It's James' scent. When I first started pulling the venom away from her bloodstream, the taste was bitter from his venom. When I began to feed on her pure sweet blood, was when I felt the first tingling of arousal. I'm sure he felt it too as he bit into her arm. Is that why I still smell him? I pulled all of his venom out of her bloodstream. Is his scent still in her because He violated my sweet innocent girl?

I walk over to where she lay, beautiful in sleep. I've always loved to watch her sleep. She's so peaceful and childlike. It's also the one thing I miss about being human. If I could sleep and shut my mind off for just one night would be a godsend.

I see the bandage on her wrist from our bite. It is tinged with blood and is making my mouth pool with venom. I wonder if I lift the dressing…

I'm pulled out of that thought with the sound of footsteps and the voices of Alice and another woman, who must be Bella's mom. I flit over to the recliner sitting in the corner away from Bella's bed, pull the blanket over me and pretend to be sleeping, just as the door opens.

"Oh my, is that Edward? Well, I can certainly see why Bella is so enthralled with him. He certainly is good looking," the woman says.

"Yes, Mrs. Dwyer. That's my brother Edward. He was ashamed to come while you were here. He sees this whole thing as his fault. He really does love Bella very much." Alice explains.

"Too much," the deep voice and sarcasm of Chief Swan pipes in.

"Oh, Charlie. You might learn a thing or two about love from that young man," Mrs. Dwyer says disdainfully.

"Bella, darling," I hear Mrs. Dwyer coo. I sneak a peak and I see she has Bella's hand in hers and is brushing her fingers through Bella's hair to gently wake her.

"Renee' please, let the girl sleep," Chief Swan grunts out at Bella's mother.

"Will, you hush up, Charlie. I know Bella would want to know her boyfriend is back," Charlie grumbles something unintelligible in the back of his throat.

"Mom, you're back. How long have I been asleep? Has Edward…"

"Yes honey, he must have come back while your Dad and I went to take a nap," Mrs. Dwyer says to Bella

"Mrs. Dwyer, Chief Swan, why don't we go down to the cafeteria and grab some coffee," Alice offers as she knows I'm not asleep. _I'll give you a half an hour before I bring them back._ Alice says in my mind. Then they are out the door, closing the door behind them. As soon as I hear their footfalls descend down the hall, I open my eyes and look into the beautiful doe eyes of Bella.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I really did think he had my mother. I just couldn't let her die. I knew it was a possibility he would kill her anyway, but I had to try," Bella's soft voice says. The sound is like music to my ears. Just to know she's still alive.

"My silly, beautiful, selfless girl," I say as I stroke her lovely hair. She smiles.

"But you love me anyway," she says with a giggle.

"That I do, my love. But now it is my turn to be selfless. Bella, I think you need to move to Florida with your mother." The panic immediately flares in her eyes. I kiss her forehead to try and ease her mind.

"Bella, our world is just too dangerous for you."

"Edward, I'm alive because of you. I know you get tired of saving me but…"

"No, Bella, you're in here because of me. It just proves I'm not able to keep you safe,"

"Then change me. Make me like you,"

"No, Bella! I will not damn you to this existence as a monster."

"So, you would rather me grow old and die?"

"Yes!" _If that means I keep you human for your blood, hell yes!_

"No! That's not what I want. I want an eternity with you. I know I'm nothing right now because I'm just an insignificant human, but if you change me…"

"Bella, enough!" Bella shrinks down in her bed at my harsh words

"Edward, please. Don't send me away!" The machines start to beep as she works herself up into a panic and she begins to cry.

"Sssh now, sweet girl," I say as I kiss her on the top of her head. I then try to leave, but she grabs my hand. Of course, I could leave if I wanted to, but I let her pull me to her.

"Please don't leave me, Edward. I love you," Those words melt my stone heart.

"Ssssh, I'm here," I say to her.

"Please, Edward. You can't say things like that to me. Ever."

"Where else would I be," I tell her before gently kissing her on the forehead.

"You need to get your rest, Sweet Bella."

"Can you get my Dad. I need to apologize to him for the terrible things I said," she says with pleading eyes.

"Sure Bella, I'll get him for you." I then leave the room to be met by Alice.

"This is all your fault! I asked one thing of you. Keep her safe. You couldn't manage to keep one insignificant human girl safe. Your gift is useless to me!" I grab Alice by her shoulders and look into her eyes, filling her with vampiric allure. "You will no longer look into my future or Bella's future, DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND ME?" I breathe over Alice's senses. I see her eyes glaze over and I know the allure is working. She can't speak, she can only nod her understanding. I see Jasper and Emmett coming up the corridor. I flee down the stairs before they know what I've done.

* * *

 **My husband was 7 years older than me when I met him. His little brother and I were "friends with benefits" He had just gotten out of jail from a drug charge when he came to live with his brother and basically stole me away from his brother. He relapsed on and off drugs, I would leave him, he would track me down and force me to come back. While we were dating, he would accuse me of still sleeping with his brother and would beat me up about it. One morning I woke up to find his brother sleeping on the sofa. I was so scared and paranoid, that I left the house stole a pack of cigarettes on purpose so I could get caught and thrown in jail, just so I wouldn't have to go back to the house.**

 **Just so you know, to keep from falling into a depression while I'm writing this, I'm watching my favorite scene from Twilight The Baseball scene. Love the song and watching them play baseball. Hee hee hee**

 **Also, I've decided who Bella's savior is going to be. Her savior, however, will not be her mate. But will get her to safety. One more chapter in Edward's pov before the knight in shining armor comes to the rescue.**


	4. Descent into Addiction

**I want to thank. Silver Butterfly 2992 for her help as Beta for the next two chapters**. **As well as her allowing me to throw ideas her way**.

* * *

I hated to do that to the deranged little pixie, I really do love her, but I wouldn't be able to get away from Bella if I have to see her in Alice's visions. Her continued visions of Bella becoming one of us. I won't let that happen. I want Bella to have a normal happy life as a human. _That's a load of bullshit, and you know it. You want her young blood to age and ripen. And you want it all to yourself._

I press my hand over my ears like a spoiled toddler trying to stop my monster from taunting me, as if that will make it stop.

I run from the building to the car and get my phone. I send Carlisle a text

 _From: E. Cullen_

 _To: C. Cullen_

 _Make sure Bella goes to Florida with Renée. This is not me asking Carlisle, make sure this happens. Going back to Forks_.

I don't wait for a reply and turn off my phone. I hail a taxi to take me to the airport. I buy a ticket at the ticket counter and wait for my flight to Seattle.

I can't quiet the voices in my head of the other passengers milling around the airport. My leg is bouncing up and down like I have a nervous condition as I wait most impatiently on my flight. As soon as they call my flight number, I have to will myself to move to the gate at a human speed.

Once I'm aboard the plane, I calm down. I will be away from Bella, away from the call of her blood. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold myself together if I had to fly back or drive back to Forks with the scent of Bella's blood surrounding me if they couldn't persuade her to go to Florida. I don't care if she sees me as a liar, as long as she is away from me and safe.

The plane finally lands in Seattle. I've never been this antsy on a commercial flight before. Human blood has never gotten to me this badly before. As soon as the plane completes its taxi and the doors open, I am the first one off the plane.

I am so anxious to get out of the airport, I run into a woman and knock her to the floor. Surprisingly, she has the same color hair and heart-shaped face as Bella.

"I'm so sorry Miss. Here let me help you up," I say to the young woman as I extend my hand to help. As soon as her warm, soft hand touches mine, my mind stops working. All I see is her blood pulsing through the vein in her neck. All I hear is her blood as it pushes its way through her body. All I feel is the warmth of her blood as it's going down my throat.

"Would you like to have a drink with me, it's the least I can do, to show you how truly sorry I am for knocking you down," I say to the woman as I push my vampiric allure onto her. The woman can do nothing but nod her head.

Since I have no luggage, I grab her rolling bag and escort her to where the taxicabs are lined up at the airport. I tell the driver to take me to a bar I know, not far from where I saved Bella from those men in the alley.

As soon as the cab driver starts driving, I corner the woman in the back of the cab, making sure I keep the allure going.

"You will let me do anything I want to you," I whisper in her ear, so the driver can't hear. I then look into her eyes again and blow my sweet breath to her. Her eyes are glazed over, and I know I have her. My monster has taken over. It wants her blood, but more than that, it wants to know what it feels like to have an orgasm while feeding.

I slip my hand under her skirt, while my other arm is holding her close to my chest. I take a peek up, and I see the driver's eyes in the rear-view mirror, taking in and enjoying everything he's seeing. _God, I wish these fuckers will for once just let me have a taste._ I then realize I need to take care of the driver too. He could cause problems if the woman goes missing.

"Like what you're seeing? I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you tried some too. Why don't you pull into a secluded wooded area? I don't mind sharing."

"Dude? Are you serious?" the driver's eyes become wide as saucers.

"As a heart attack," I tell the sick fucko. _Oh man, I finally get to have a little fun. Wait till I tell the fellas!_

I push the woman down onto the seat and push her skirt up to her waist and ripped her panties off. I felt nothing. Not a tingling, nothing.

I took my fingernail and sliced a slit near her jugular, and carefully began to drink, being careful not to use my teeth and push venom into the wound. The woman gave a seductive moan as I began to suck on her neck. With that, I began to smell her arousal. All of that, along with the flow of her blood down my throat, I have a raging hard-on. I freed myself from my pants and slid into her warmth. _FUCK ME! IS THIS WHAT WE'VE BEEN MISSING FOR AN ENTIRE CENTURY? IF IT DIDN'T KILL ME TOO, I'D RIP YOUR HEAD OFF FOR DENYING ME THIS PLEASURE FOR THIS LONG, YOU PRUDISH DORK!_

The woman moaned and writhed under me as I began to thrust into her over and over. I didn't even realize the driver had now stopped and had turned around to watch until I heard him groan from the front seat.

"I'm almost finished. You want to get back here for your turn?" I asked the driver, as I shielded the woman's neck from where I'd been drinking from her. The driver's eyes grew wide as he rubbed his hands together before opening his driver's door. While he walked around to the passenger side, I quickly finished my meal and shot my load into a woman for the first time.

I backed my way out of the car. I saw the fat bastard of a driver had his pants to his ankles and was stroking the little pencil he called a dick. Once I had given him enough room to crawl into the back seat he froze.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" he said as he turned to face me. My monster had taken full control, and I quickly snapped the driver's neck before he could utter another sound and threw him in the back of the taxi on top of the woman.

I pulled out my Zippo lighter and quickly tossed it into the gas tank before speeding away at vampire speed. I heard the explosion when I was at least a mile away.

I didn't bother to return to see if everything burned. If it didn't anyone coming upon the scene would suspect the cab driver kidnapped the woman in an attempt to rape her.

My monster was cheering in the actions that just happened.

You ass! What have you made us do? What if there's DNA. Don't we watch crime shows? _You, stupid fucker, we're vampires! Any venom will be burned off, and we don't leave fingerprints and body hair, you stupid jerk! How long have we been a vampire? You're as dumb as a newborn._

I stopped in the middle of my run and sat down in the middle of the forest with my head in my hands. I can't believe what I've just done. I've completely lost it! Never in my life have I acted so deplorable. What am I going to do now? I can't go home. Carlisle will see my red eyes and know exactly what I've done. Jasper will read my guilty emotions and figure it out.

I lay there in the forest for days. I've lost track of exactly how many. Occasionally an animal will wander by, and I will drain it. I stay there dormant. A vampire can lay dormant, not moving forever. We don't need to breathe. Our bodies don't atrophy from non-use. The only time I move is when there threatens to be sunshine. However I am so deep in the forest, I doubt it will hit me.

I'm sitting under a tree not having moved in I don't know how long. All of my senses have been shut down except my mind-reading of course.

I hear his thoughts before I realize he's approaching.

 _I have to find him. Emmett said he'd caught a flight home but where could he be? I should have asked Jasper to help, he's a better tracker than I am. Wait, I think I've got his scent._

"OH GOD! EDWARD, SON!" Carlisle says as he kneels down and brings me into an embrace. "I knew this would be extremely hard on you to be away from Bella. I never dreamed. Come on son, let's get you home and cleaned up. The quicker we get you cleaned up, we can get you to Bella. Everything will be so much better you'll see." I hear the words, but my mind must be so jumbled I do not hear correctly.

"What are you saying, Carlisle? Please tell me Bella did not come back to Forks," I asked him after pulling him back from me at arms-length so I can see his face.

"Edward, she was adamant that she wanted to come back with her father. Her mother and I both made strong arguments for her to go to Florida. And from what I can see here, you need her." I can do nothing but hang my head. Carlisle picks me up in a fireman's carry and runs us back to our home at vampire speed.

When Carlisle deposits me on the couch in my room, I immediately shed my clothes and head for the shower. After I'm clean and dressed in fresh clothes, I sit on my couch and stare out the picture window only listening to my music, trying to drown out the voices of my family.

Emmett- _Boy, I hope little brother brings himself out of this. I'd hate for Bella to lose it if he doesn't finally make an appearance. I miss my Jelly Belly._

Rosalie- _Nobody is talking about what happened in Phoenix. Everyone thinks I don't like Bella, but I hate what happened to her._

Carlisle- _Somethings going on with Edward besides Bella. He would have gone to her by now. How could he just leave her like that…tnaw ton llahs I ,drehpehs ym si dorL ehT (The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…)_

Is he reciting the 23rd Psalms backward?

Alice- _I have to stop the visions…stop the visions…stop the visions. How does he expect me to not see if he continues to make horrible decisions? I can't stop them. What he did to that woman!_

"FUCK!" Alice saw. I quickly check for Jasper's voice. Jasper is not here. I flit up to Alice's room. I don't even bother to knock. She's in her closet on the floor with her knees brought up to her chest rocking back and forth.

I grab her by her shoulders pulling her up to meet my eyes. I don't speak a word, I let her see the decision I've made.

"That will happen if you tell anyone," She silently gasps in horror, before the venom tears welled up in her eyes that would never fall. I leave her and go back to my room before Jasper returns. I seal myself in my room and continue listening to my music.

I stay away from Bella for another week. But with everyone in my head, and the need to feed I have to leave the room.

I know Alice has been avoiding me, but everyone else has come to check on me. When Carlisle comes this time and tells me I need to hunt and ask if I'd like to come with him, I tell him no. I need to be alone. He only nods his head in confirmation before leaving my room.

Alice- _Please Edward, you have to go see Bella. I show her my decision to visit Bella._

I leave the house and just start running. I run until I make it to Port Angeles. I go to the bar that I instructed the cab driver to drive me to. I wait in the alley until a woman enters the alley. I grab her and run off to the forest with her. She's kicking and screaming the entire way. I place my hand over her mouth to stop her screams. Once in the forest, I quickly strip her of her clothes fuck her as I drink from her neck, but I don't drain her. I can't allow my eyes to go back to red. Once I've come, I snap her neck. I dig a grave and bury her along with her clothes before taking off to Bella.

It's already night, and Bella is in bed asleep. I sense that Charlie is already asleep as well. I climb her tree and jimmy the window open and silently go into her room. I sit in her rocking chair and just watch her sleep.

She's still so beautiful. I feel if I can just sate my monster, I should still be able to keep Bella safe. I won't harm her. I can't harm her. Not my beautiful Bella.

Bella then starts to fret in her sleep as if she has a bad dream

"Edward will know. He will know what you've done." Bella starts talking in her sleep. I flit over to her bed and bring her into my arms to comfort her.

"Bella, I'm here love," I whisper.

"James," I stiffen as his name comes from my sweet Bella's lips. I slowly back away from her and stare down at her.

"James, please," I then grab her by her shoulders and violently shake her.

"Bella! Wake up!" She's startled awake with a gasp. Once she's taken in her surroundings, she looks up at me and a smile lights her face.

"Edward, you finally came," she says as she flings her arms around my neck for a hug. I squeeze her back. Her warmth penetrates me immediately

"What were you dreaming about Bella?" I ask her evenly.

"James was after me. He was taunting me in the ballet studio. And you came and rescued me again from the bad monster," she said as she squeezed me tighter. I bury my head in her hair and take in her scent. She smells the same as she did in the hospital. I can smell him! I pry her arms from around my neck and lay her back down.

"You need to get your sleep, Bella," I say as I get off the bed and sit in her rocker.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I shake my head at her question.

"Nothing, Bella. Go back to sleep." She settles back down in bed. As I listen to her breathing even out and I know she's asleep, I ease back out the window.

What the hell is going on? Why does she still smell like James? I know I pulled all the venom out. I could taste her pureblood once it was clean.

I run back to the house and straight to Carlisle's study. I knock on his door and wait for his response.

"What can I do for you son?" Carlisle asks once I enter his study.

"Does venom alter a person's scent?" I ask him.

"Yes, it does. When I changed each of you, you took on a little of my scent. Also, mates tend to take on each other's scent once they've…um…consummated their mating bond." Carlisle tells me.

"So only mates, then?" I ask with a quirk of an eyebrow.

"Um…no. Any sexual intercourse will slightly change the others sent. It's stronger with mated pairs though. To complete the mating bond, they bite each other and inject their venom into each other.

"Bite?"

"Son, what's with all the questions? You and Bella haven't…She's not well enough yet to…"

"No! No! I was just curious," _Oh, Thank God!_ I hear Carlisle mentally exhale. I quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know son?" He asks returning my eyebrow quirk.

"Umm, so…How is Bella recovering?" I ask just, so I don't seem like I'm an idiot for the questions I've asked.

"You still haven't been to see her?"

"Yes, I just left actually. But I'm asking in a medical sense."

"Quite nicely, actually. She begged me to take her out of the plaster cast before we left Phoenix. So, she has a walking cast. All of her other injuries are coming along nicely. Alice has been going over to help her bathe and dress and her other personal needs."

"Only Alice? What about Rosalie?"

"Well, you know Rosalie. It takes time for her to warm up to someone. Give it time. She'll come around," Carlisle says with a soft smile. I only nod my head. I just stand there for a moment thinking over everything Carlisle said and what happened tonight.

"Is there anything else, Edward?"

"Are you sure Bella's blood was clean? I mean, there's no chance of venom being in her bloodstream, right? You know, that could harm her?"

"Well, Edward. There is always a possibility of trace amounts being left. Not enough that could cause her harm. As you know, I use venom quite often in my medical work. The amount is so small, there is never any harm of changing the patient," Carlisle tells me. I've always known that Carlisle is known as a cutting-edge medical genius. He is able to do complex surgical procedures, and no one knows that venom is used to seal off arteries in which the patient may have very well bled out. However, how the venom affects the smell of a person's blood, I would never know.

"Well, thank you, Carlisle. I won't take up any more of your time."

"Edward you know you are always welcome when you need to talk. I love you, son,"

"I love you, too, Carlisle," I said before leaving his study.

As I leave his study, I see Alice quickly duck her head back in her room as I pass her door.

That's right, little pixie. Be terrified of me.

Over the next week, I repeat the process. I go to Port Angeles before I visit Bella. As I sit in Bella's chair, watching her sleep, my monster is rattling its cage to be let out. It continues to smell James' scent in Bella's blood and is screaming in my head. _James fucked her! You know it, and I know it. So, what are we waiting for? She hasn't bothered to save her virtue for you. Take her! She's ours!_ Until I can't take it anymore and I let him free to do with her as he pleases. I've finally snapped

When I finally come to my senses, it's too late. I've violated Bella in the worse way. I try to show my remorse by helping her clean up. I try and treat her gently and lovingly to show I'm sorry. But she made me do this. If her blood weren't so sweet, I could resist her.

I've truly become what I've warned Bella about all this time.

I am a monster!

* * *

 **I don't have many physical scars left by my husband. But I have many emotional once. I have a broken finger that never healed properly. He was trying to get the last money I had for drugs. They were in my Jeans and I needed to pay rent. He was pulling me, and tossing me around, trying to grab the jeans out of my hand, while I was holding on to the jeans as if my life depended on it. I felt the snap when my finger broke. I was too afraid to go to the hospital. So, nursed my swollen hand for a week until the pain subsided. I wore it in a sling to go to work. Now, I'm unable to grip things properly with my left hand, and you can see the visible abnormality in that finger vs the other fingers. Even to this day.**

 **Next Chapter Saviour(s) on the way!**


	5. Revelation

**A/N This chapter is going to be different than you are used to with Twilight. The change of a vampire, and the way bonds are formed are not Canon**

 **VICTORIA**

Edward is absolutely a monster!

Why he thought himself superior to James, I can't fathom. Yes, James may have liked to play with his food, but at least, he granted them the kindness of death.

I came back to seek revenge, a mate for a mate. I watched the Cullen house and the Swan house for when they returned.

 **FLASHBACK**

 _When I saw them return with the human, all broken, I did feel bad for what James had done to her. But she's just a human, food. But I guess it's the same as when a human has a pet pig or chicken. I never understood that. How can you make a pet of something you consider food? But I digress._

 _At first, there is no sign of Edward. I wonder if he didn't survive either? When I checked the burned down remains of the ballet studio, I saw no sign, Edward was burned as well. I could smell only James ashes in the burned out shell._

 _So, I returned to Forks, to bide my time until I could get to the Cullens' human pet. At first, I watched as the little pixie psychic took care of their pet's needs. I still saw no signs of Edward. I wanted the human away from her home. But she was still somewhat bedridden and wasn't leaving the house. I didn't want to miss my chance, so I called for help._

 _"Laurent, you coward, I need you to come back to Forks."_

 _"No, Victoria, I won't. I'm tired of the games James plays. And I won't continue to watch him hurt you. Why won't you come here with me? The Cullens' relatives are really lovely. We don't have to be nomads any longer. You always told James you wanted to stop running. You wanted to buy nice clothes like you see other women wear and be able to take regular showers. You know how much you miss that."_

 _"Stop it! Stop it! I don't care about that now. James is dead. The Cullens killed him. He was your friend and coven leader. He was my mate. Don't you want to avenge his death?"_

 _"No, Victoria. James was not my friend. He may have been my coven leader, but he was no friend of mine. And how many times do I have to tell you, he was not your mate. What is it with women? A male vampire would never deny his mate anything, even I know that. Do you forget how many times James denied you to feed as a punishment? Do you not remember the scar you bare, from his cruelty to you? I only stayed to keep you safe. Had it not been for me, James would have killed you by now. No, I will not avenge his death. Good riddance!"_

 _"But, Laurent if you claim to love me as you do, why won't you help me?" I heard him let out a long unneeded breath._

 _"Victoria, you know I love you. I always have. And I am trying to help you. I know you can't remember your human life, but I do. I was there. I wish there were something that could make you remember. Victoria, please. Come to Alaska. I know you will like the Denali's. Yes, the diet takes getting used to, but they are so generous. And I know you will like the girls."_

 _"FORGET IT LAURENT!" You haven't changed. Still the opportunist! They dangle money and clothes and cars at you, and you sit back on your hind legs waiting for them to toss you a bone. Now, whose become the pet!"_

 _"I am no one's pet, Victoria. Look I will come to Forks, but I will not help you get revenge. I'll need to tell my new coven something, so give me some time, okay?"_

 _"Thank you Laurrie. I knew you'd come around. Ahh! I have to go. The golden boy has finally made an appearance. See you soon. Love you Laurrie,"_

 _"I love you, too Vicky. Behave yourself until I get there. Please?" I giggled_

 _"I make no promises."_

 _"You are incorrigible, little one. Bye,"_

 _"Bye, Laurrie."_

 _"We need to leave. We need to leave for Bella's safety," I heard the golden boy say to his family._

 _"NO! I won't. I won't leave Bella!" I heard the big brute say._

 _"Edward, son, why are you doing this. Bella loves you, and I thought you loved Bella?" I heard the good doctor say._

 _"She doesn't want us here anymore. She wants to have a normal human life. As long as we are here she will never have that," Edward told his family._

 _"Did she say that, son?"_

 _"Yes, and I think we should give it to her."_

 _"Well, that changes things then. A lot." The doctor replied._

 _"Bella doesn't know what she's saying, Edward. She doesn't realize, Victoria is still out there. I don't know if she and James were mates. I felt a lot of love and adoration coming from her for him. I didn't feel that coming from him. Maybe it was because he was after Bella. But I don't think he loved and cared about her in the same way. Even so, I can tell he was her sire and coven leader. She may still wish to avenge his death. And if they were mates, she will go after Bella. A mate for a mate." That must have been the Major. James told me all about that guy. That was why he wouldn't take them on the baseball field._

 _James said he was the most feared vampire in the world. Even the Volturi are afraid of him. It was why he wouldn't take what he wanted. James didn't understand why someone so feared was with a bunch of animal drinking pansy vampires, but he would never go up against the Major. It's why he lured Bella away from them. They sent her to safety with the only one of them that would be able to defend her._

 _"Well, while I don't want to leave Forks, I agree with Bella. It's best we are away from her. She's given her choice. I say we allow her to live a happy human life. A chance to get married and have babies and grandbabies. Grow old like normal humans do." That was the beautiful blonde woman. Listening to her makes me realize, I wish I'd had that too. Not this life. Not a life of stealing and hiding._

 ** _MEMORY WITHIN A FLASHBACK_**

 ** _A teenaged redhead girl. Sitting under the trees of her families sprawling plantation. Their slaves in the field tending crops_**

 ** _A fancy carriage pulls up to the front with the most beautiful negro man she'd ever seen. His hair was in long knotted locs that flowed down his back, tied neatly with a ribbon. She gathers her blanket and book she was reading and makes her way to where her father and mother greet the carriage. The negro man steps down off the buckboard of the carriage and comes to open the door. A well-dressed white man exits the carriage and greets her father._**

 ** _But he doesn't treat the negro as a slave. He's not his slave, their friends. They're both beautiful. They seem to have this other-worldly beauty about them._**

 ** _"Victoria, please come greet our guests," her father calls out to the girl._**

 ** _"Victoria, this is a good friend of mine, Jean-Luc, and his companion Laurent,"_**

 ** _"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mademoiselle Victoria," Jean-Luc said to the girl. The girl vaguely hears what else is being said, because her attention is on Laurent._**

 ** _Laurent has made eye contact with her but keeps his eyes focused on the ground. It is 1850 New Orleans after all. Even if he is not a slave, it's still against the law for a negro to eye a white woman._**

 ** _"VICTORIA! Don't be rude. Now go help your mother set up the parlor for guest and get one of the girls from the kitchen to help set of living quarters for Laurent."_**

 ** _"See here, Louie. Laurent is not one of your negro slaves. He is a free man. We are not accustomed to being apart. Laurent will share living quarters with me," Jean-Luc said to the girl's father._**

 ** _"_** ** _S'il vous plait, Jean-Luc._** ** _I think in this instance…" he then lifted his eyes towards the young Victoria. "It may be in our best interest to accept the additional living quarters," Jean-Luc cast his eyes towards Victoria. A smirk played upon his lips._**

 ** _"Très Bien, Laurent. Louie, your hospitality is most graciously accepted," Jean-Luc replied._**

 ** _Over the next two days, young Victoria took every chance she could get to spy on Laurent._**

 ** _"I see you there, Mademoiselle Victoria," Laurent said, never looking over his shoulder. Victoria swore she was where he would not be able to see her as he tended to the horses. Victoria came out of her hiding place, picked up an apple and walked over to the horse. Standing to face Laurent, with the horse between them, she began to feed the apple to the horse, while Laurent continued to brush her mane_**

 ** _"Ah, ma chère, how can I not see such beauty. What I don't know is why you continue to watch me from the shadows, and not come talk to me. Are you afraid of me?"_**

 ** _"Should I be?" Victoria asked defiantly._**

 ** _"Yes, you should." Victoria thought his accent was beautiful. "But, not because I will hurt you." Laurent then came to her side of the horse faster than her eyes could blink. He pressed her back to his chest. She could feel the coldness and hardness of his dark olive skin contrast to her warm, pale body. It made her gasp._**

 ** _"Au contraire, little one. You should be afraid that once I touch your creamy alabaster skin, I may never be able to stop." She suddenly was turned to face him. Her hazel eyes locked on to his deep burgundy eyes. She thought she would fall within their depths. His dark lips brushed against hers. She could feel his cold breath on her face. He smelled of shea butter and bergamot._**

 ** _"We can't, not here. If we are caught, I will be whipped, and they will lynch you." Victoria told Laurent as she scurried away from him. Laurent only chuckled._**

 ** _"Ah, ma chère, do not worry for me, little one. No man can hurt me. But for you, I will resist. Can you sneak out tonight? After your parents have gone to sleep, you will come to the quarters you so graciously prepared for me. Yes?" She nodded, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and fled back to her family home._**

 **END MEMORY WITHIN A FLASHBACK**

I gasped as I was brought out of a flash of memory. I touched my lips as if I could still feel Laurent's cold lips on mine. How could I not remember that? If Laurent loved me first, how did I end up with James?

I don't even know how long I was stuck in that memory because suddenly, there were moving vans pulling up to the Cullens house, and the Cullens were loading their belongings.

Jesus! These fuckers are rich! But I must have been, too, once upon a time. Or at least my parent's were. We had horses and stables. A grand house, much grander than the Cullens. Why am I dirty and running around in bare feet? What happened to me? I need to feed so I can be strong enough when the time comes that Bella is finally all alone. I take a run into Canada to find a good feeding ground.

 **END FLASHBACK**

 **~~oOo~~**

 **LAURENT**

 _A WEEK LATER_

The Denali's are going to visit the Cullens, now that they have moved back to Alaska, and have asked me to come along. They want to show them the progress I've made to the diet. I am ashamed to admit, I have had my slips. Sticking to this animal diet is harder than I thought. Especially with the other girls bringing their nightly conquests home.

I've made companionship with Irina. Women can be so delusional. I always tell her I am not her mate, but she insists on the contrary. I don't know what this will do to Victoria if she ever finds out. But I have waited for that woman for far too long. Her own delusions kept her tied to that deplorable James. I've already given up my life. My comfortable way of living to keep her safe. Why must I continue to deny myself pleasure? Now, that the despicable James has finally met his final death, maybe she will see me again.

 **FLASHBACK**

 _Victoria and I spent an entire week together. She shared my bed every night, sneaking away in the early morning. If her parent's ever found out we were together, it would be disastrous for her._

 _Once my business companion dealings were completed, we were returning to France._

 _"Please Victoria, run away with me. My companion and I will take care of you. You can come with me to France. I have a home there, and you and I are free to be together. It does not look upon our difference with disgrace as they do here in the states. Plus, once we are away, I can take you out to the countryside. We have a secluded cabin. Then I can have an eternity with you. I will make you like me,"_

 _"Laurrie, you know I want that, but I can't leave my parent's behind. You've told me all about your life. I don't know if I want that. I will never be able to have children. You've told me so yourself when I was afraid I would get pregnant with your child. I've seen other white girls, give birth to nig—Negro babies. Their families disown them and cast them and their bastard child with the other slaves. Then they kill the one that impregnates her. I want to be a mother one day."_

 _"Please, Victoria. I love you. I don't know if I can be apart from you. What if I give you time. Jean-Luc and I will be back next year. We always have business here in New Orleans. If you have not found a husband by then, please say you will be mine," I said to her as I stroked the soft curls of her fire red hair. It was always so beautiful._

 _"Yes, Laurrie. When you come back in one year. I will be ready for you. I will have had a chance to say goodbye to my parent's properly. But you will have to arrange it so that it appears I will be with Jean-Luc. Otherwise, they will forbid me to leave," she told me._

 _"Yes, Ma chére. I will have it all arranged. You'll see. You will love France," I gave her a kiss, and we made passionate love for the last time ever._

 _When I returned to New Orleans the next year, Jean-Luc and I were conducting business elsewhere. After our day concluded, I left him and went to seek out Victoria._

 _What I came across once I reached her families plantation, made me wish I were human so I could vomit._

 _The fields had not been tended. Drained slaves were laying out to rot in the fields. When I came upon the plantation house, I heard the screams of my Victoria._

 _Once I entered the house, the smell made me gag. There, in the sitting room, her parent's bodies lay rotting. The house was in shambles._

 _I'll admit, I've never been a fighting man. I was born in France, to a wealthy family; a negro mother and a French father. When I became an adult, I sought out powerful people and attached myself to them. Influential people don't fight their own battles, they have guards to do that for them. I was turned by a wealthy Russian, Boris because I wanted the power and immortality he possessed._

 _When I came across Jean-Luc, he promised to share his wealth with me, if I made him like me. He was a very greedy man and wanted to be able to grow his wealth for an eternity._

 _You may say, I am a coward, running from a fight, I suppose, I just know how to talk my way out of a fight. So, when I came across James and Victoria, it was the first time my fight instincts took over. But I had to try to talk my way out of this first. I would not risk harming Victoria._

 _When I saw her, all bloody and bruised as James raped her, I wanted to tear his head off. But I couldn't risk Victoria's safety._

 _"Well, look at you, a fancy nigger vampire," James said sneering at me as he got off of Victoria._

 _"What is it? You think you can have a piece of this white woman? Do you know where you are, boy? You're in New Orleans. We don't go for that around here."_

 _"Come to me," Victoria. I will keep you safe Ma Chére," I said to Victoria, never taking my eyes off James._

 _"No, Laurrie. Just go. I won't let him hurt you, too. He's already killed my parents," Victoria said as she ran over to me, trying to push me out the door._

 _"Sssh, little one," I said as I kissed her forehead then pushed her behind me. James was busily redressing himself. I guess he didn't want to risk the family jewels in a fight._

 _"Oh, you think you can just bring your fancy French ass in here and take what's mine?"_

 ** _"SHE IS NOT YOURS, SHE'S MINE!"_** _I roared as I crouched to pounce him. He just laughed. Then before I knew what happened, he pounced on me._

 _"RUN, VICTORIA!" I yelled as James and I fought over the woman I loved. The advantage in the fight took several turns. Me pinning him, with my teeth at his throat, him getting in several good blows to knock me away, before he finally took off one of my arms and a leg, before going after Victoria._

 _When he brought her back, she was covered in mud and crying. James was carrying her petite body slung over his shoulder._

 _"Now, Frenchie. You have one of two choices. You can watch me as I drain her. If I kill her, I will end you, burn all the bodies here in this house as your funeral pyre. Or, I can change her, you can join us and be a coven and live happily ever after. You look like you have some money, with all your fancy duds and all. I think we can make some—arrangements." James said once he placed Victoria on her feet. He had one arm around her waist, the other around her neck. Her hair in wild ringlets, swirling around her head like a cascade of fire. As James buried his face in her neck, she mouthed the words, 'I'm sorry, I love you,' which tore my heart in two._

 _"Change her!" I growled out, both in pain from the loss of my limbs and in frustration at the choices I was given and that I was not able to defend the woman I loved._

 _Victoria screamed in agony as he bit into her jugular._

 _"NO!" I screamed right along with her. He took such a long pull of blood from her, I thought he was killing her._

 _"OH, so you've changed your mind?" He said as he lifted his head from her neck. Her life's blood dripping disdainfully from his lips._

 _"No, I've not changed my mind. Complete the transformation before it's too late," I growled._

 _"As you wish." He then took his fingernail and slashed across his left pectoral. Once the blood and venom began to pour from him, he turned Victoria so she could feed from him. He sneered at me from over Victoria's mass of curls. He knew exactly what he'd done._

 _When one sires a person that is of no significance, you allow them to feed from your wrist. The act of letting your progeny feed from your heart is done as a bond. Usually when one is turning his or her mate. He was binding her to him. She would never be free of him, possibly even after his final death. She was no longer mine. I felt as if a hole was torn open in my chest, to be left by a gaping wound. I vowed that day, even if she were no longer mine, I would never leave her. I would always be there to protect her._

 **END FLASHBACK**

I was brought out of my grieving thoughts when I felt the car stop, and the door opened. Four of the Cullens were there.

Esme ran up to the others first. I learned she had been turned by Carlisle. He thought she would become his mate. After I learned her story, that he found her after she tried to commit suicide when her newborn son died, he turned her.

I learned then, what an honorable man Carlisle is. He didn't force a bond with Esme as James did with Victoria. She fed from his wrist, even though he thought her to be his true mate. Though she did form a familial bond with Edward. She refused Carlisle as her mate. It seems her human husband had abused her so severely, she wanted nothing to do with Carlisle. She found her mate in Carmen of the Denali coven. Eleazar and Carmen have been companions for centuries. However, Carmen would not turn Eleazar away when she mated with Esme. Though Esme wants nothing to do with Eleazar sexually, the three of them share a marital bed.

"Where is Edward?" Esme asked.

"He didn't come with us Esme," Carlisle told her.

When I came to live with the Denali's and learned how I came to them, was how Esme learned Edward had found a mate. I didn't give her many details, as I only knew a little. So, she was anxious to meet her son's, human mate.

We all went inside, and Carlisle explained to Esme the events that occurred. Esme was furious.

"You left him! Carlisle, how could you? He's just a boy. Of course, he's hurt and upset. Are you not the coven leader? How could you let him make a decision like that?" Esme growled. Esme was always the sweet loving mother figure of our coven. I don't think I've ever heard her this upset. Even with my slip-ups. She was still so caring and understanding.

"Esme, he is a man, in love. How is he ever going to mature if I make all of his decisions? This is his life, and he needs to decide how it should go. If he feels leaving the girl to be human is what's best, then who am I to make that choice for him. Besides, it was her choice. After everything that happened with James and his coven…" Carlisle eyes then sought out mine. "…I can't say that I blame her." That seemed to calm Esme considerably.

"I guess I understand. Seeing how my choices were never afforded to me." OUCH! I felt the sting of that proverbial slap in the face. Carlisle could only hang his head.

It was then my phone decided to ring. I checked the caller ID and saw it was Victoria. I let it go to voicemail.

"I'm sorry. This is a call I really must take. If you all will excuse me." I excused myself and ran far enough into the forest that my conversation could not be overheard. I listened to the voicemail.

"Laurent, please this is awful. You have to come and help me." Was all the message said? I didn't need to hear any more. Victoria needed me. I didn't have time to procure a car. I ran toward where my love needed me.

"Vicky, sweetheart I'm on the way. You can explain when I get there," I made the call to Victoria as I ran.

"Okay, Laurrie, but please hurry. It may be a matter of life or death," was all she said before she hung up the phone.

I shot a text message off to Irina, telling her to tell the family I had an urgent matter that could not wait. I didn't know when I would be returning.

I then made one final call.

"Jean-Luc, old friend. I think I may need your help," was all I needed to say. I would never go to my Victoria's need, unaided again.

* * *

 **A/N: When I finally left my husband, yes he was still my husband until he passed away August of this year from Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer, I never wanted to see him again. Not even to divorce his sorry ass. The details of how I was finally free I will reveal in later chapters. But I did go see him again in the hospital a week before he died. When I walked into the hospital room, I didn't recognize him and he didn't recognize me. It wasn't until we began speaking to each other that we recognized who we were speaking to. His voice spurred up fear again. My son was with me for protection and comfort. He told me He knew he hurt me, but that I hurt him too, but he had put that all in the past and that he'd forgiven me. FORGIVEN ME? FORGIVEN ME! It was only the second time in our long dreaded relationship that I tried to kill him. My son had to pull me off of him. When I look at it now, I guess it was his way of asking for forgiveness, to somehow clear himself before he died. Well, he never got it. Maybe I should have. I've heard to forgive gives me back the power. Sorry, I ain't that person! His sister called me to tell me he was sick. When I got home I told her not to call me again until they had put his sorry ass in the ground.**

 **After I left him, a song, Nobody's supposed to be here, by Deborah Cox became my theme song. There is a verse. Knowing these tears I've cried, this lovely black butterfly, must take her chance and spread her wings, Love can make you do some crazy things. So I placed my heart under lock and key, take some time to take care of me. Thinking back on this is what prompted me to change my Pen name.**


	6. A plan for rescue

**VICTORIA**

I got back from feeding just as the humans at the Swan house woke up for their morning routine. I heard all her father's moans and grunts as he got ready for work. I then heard the little human get up and go into the bathroom.

"Bells, what happened to your face?" I heard her father ask.

"Um, I'm not really sure Ch—Dad. I woke up, and it was bruised like that. Maybe I slept wrong." I chuckled, even I could tell that it was a lie. I couldn't see her from where I was. I had been far enough in the forest and downwind to be unnoticed. I wanted to stay far enough away so my thoughts could not be heard by that mind-reading freak, but close enough to see what was happening.

"Well, let's get you downstairs before Alice gets here. I have to be at the station early so I won't have breakfast with you. I'll just pick something up at the diner." So he must not know the Cullens have left. Why wouldn't she tell him she asked them to leave her alone like fucktard said?

Once they were downstairs, I could see into the living room. Her face was a bruised mess. How could her father not see she'd apparently been hit or something. What kind of fucking cop was he?

"Have a good day, kiddo. I'll bring home a pizza so you won't have to cook. Oh, and by the way, Billie and Jake are coming by to watch the game. See ya later, Bells," The old man finally left. But fuck, I'd better make myself scarce again tonight. The fucking mutts are coming to visit. I could see Bella hobbling around on one crutch trying to make herself some food. Soon she was sitting and eating her food in front of the TV.

Then the golden boy shows up and walks in like he owns the place.

"Good morning, Love," he said as he leaned down to kiss her. But she pulls away. She's frightened of him now. He then looks at her as if she's lost her mind.

"Why do I smell Charlie all over you? Are you so desperate now that I've taken your virginity that you're fucking your father?" _WAS HE KIDDING THE SICK FUCKO? Even I know her father carries her downstairs, of course, she's going to smell like him. They live in the same house you fucking retard! Is he for real?_

"Edward, that's sick, even for you. Charlie carries me downstairs every morning, so I don't trip on the stairs. That's why you smell him. He does love me after all, so don't be surprised if you smell him as he hugs his daughter before he leaves for work. I don't know what's gotten into you Edward, but I don't like it. Ever since this incident, you've been acting strangely. Maybe you were right. I don't think this is goi…" Then in a move so quick, if it weren't for my vampire senses I would have missed it. Edward snatched her up by the shirt collar so fast, I was sure he snapped her neck. It made me gasp.

"Oh no, little girl. I gave you your chance. Several chances, as a matter of fact. Now that I've had your blood, you belong to me. I will do what I want to you when I want. If you tell anyone, I will fucking kill you. Then I will snap Charlie's neck and then go to Florida and fuck and drain that sassy little mother of yours. I'm sure she will enjoy it while it lasts since she's nothing but a whore and trained her daughter to be a whore."

Those words sound so familiar "you belong to me. I will do what I want to you when I want". He then picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Her screams began to trigger another memory.

FLASHBACK.

 _We were going to visit my grandmother in Baton Rouge for a month. My father felt the need to hire another overseer. Laurent told me it was not uncommon for vampires and witches and those of the supernatural world to descend upon New Orleans. Most hung around the French Quarter and fed off the underbelly of society the pickpockets, thieves and rapist. Which is how Laurent and Jean-Luc fed when they were in town. Others fed from the drunks that wondered out of bars passed out on the street or the homeless. Laurent and Jean-Luc were the first of their kind I had ever encountered, as I was not permitted away from our home after dark or is until my father hired James._

 _I was sure my father knew what he was doing when he hired this James to tend the slaves as an additional overseer in our absence. It was not my place to question such things. However, there was something about him, unlike Laurent and Jean-Luc that just made my hackles stand up. Just the way he would look at me as if he wanted to eat me alive. The way he licked his lips and made a very ungentlemanly gesture towards me._

 _So, after only two weeks of our visit with Grand-mère, word was sent that we needed to return home immediately, I knew this was not going to be good._

 _I knew it was nearing the time for Laurent to come back for me, which is why I insisted I wanted to visit Grand-mère. I knew it would be my last time. I was hoping he had not returned early and was causing trouble because I wasn't there._

 _The first thing that was noticed is there was no one tending the fields. Then we spotted the first rotting corpse. Then our driver, Tobias, spotted the body of his wife and daughter. They both looked like they had been raped and tortured before someone killed them. My father tried to shield my eyes from the sight, but there was no shielding the smell of death._

 _Father drew his gun and told us to stay in the carriage as he went to check our home. As my father entered the house, he must have been too shocked at what he saw to move at first. He suddenly turned to run from the house_

 _"TOBIAS, GET MY FAMILY OUT OF HERE!" father yelled before he was snatched into the house and the door slammed. Mother and I were clinging to each other in horror and crying as Tobias had the horses in full gallop to get the carriage away. We heard the gunfire several times then there was silence. Mother and I screamed with each shot._

 _Then the carriage was suddenly overturned, as the horses whinnied in fear. Somehow, I was unharmed, but, mother was badly injured. The carriage overturned on her side, with me laying on top of her. The door of the carriage was suddenly ripped off its hinges and mother and I were pulled out like ragdolls._

 _"She will be good for a snack later," James said as he sniffed mother. "But you…" he said to me before licking my mother's blood that had smeared on the side of my face. "…I can't wait to have fun with you. You belong to me. I will do what I want to you when I want."_

 **END FLASHBACK**

I was brought out of my memory by Edward waking the girl up

"You don't want to make me angry again. Take your snack, blood bag," Edward was shoving food into her hand.

"Why are you doing this. The rest of the family won't let you get away with this," she sobbed as she took her juice. So it was not her request. What the fuck is he doing? He really is keeping her as a pet and doesn't want to share with the rest of his family. But why isn't the little psychic seeing this? I watched as he put some sort of cream on her body. She was nearly covered in bruises and handprints that would soon bruise. I wanted to cry for this little human. "James you stupid fool. Look what you've started." I sobbed into my hands.

"You really are a stupid girl. You think they really give a damn about you? They've left and gone back to Alaska. They think I've gone off to sulk because you didn't want anything to do with the family after James. I told them us being here was a mistake and made them leave. So now, I have you all to myself. Remember, you will tell no one about this, or you know what will happen," He said as he got right up in her face. He was lying to both his family, and to the woman he supposedly loved. He was using vampiric allure on her to keep her compliant. That shit isn't going to work. That animal blood really does make them stupid. Even James knew she was a shield. He couldn't track her, which is why he had to lure her away. It was why he was so fascinated by her. Yes, he wanted to play with her first, but he wanted her shield. He was going to change her and keep her in our coven.

"Your father will be home soon, sleep my Bella," That was my queue to leave. I don't want my scent anywhere near those mutts. I decided to follow this sick fuck, but the fucker is too fast for me. I quickly lose him. I decided to go back and wait near the Cullen house in case he comes back. I'm sure the mutts will be nowhere near there.

While I wait, I think over everything that has happened. Soon I'm bombarded by more memories.

FLASHBACK

 _After licking my mother's blood from my face, James picks up my unconscious mother and carries me over his shoulder kicking an screaming into the house. Once inside, I see he had my father bound and gagged in a chair. He throws my mother on the floor. He then puts me down on my feet in front of him with my back pressed to his chest with one arm around my waist and one arm around my neck._

 _"Now you listen to me. I want all the money you have, or I'm gonna let you watch as I have my way with this pretty little firecracker here," James said as he turned my head and shoved his tongue into my mouth._

 _"Then, when I'm done with her, I might even have some of that little wife of yours. I already know her blood is miiiighty tasty. Can't wait to shove my cock into her as I drink more of her blood." My father's eyes grew wide as saucers as he grunted and grumbled from behind the gag, and he wiggled and squirmed to get himself free from his bindings_

 _"What's that? I didn't quite catch that," James said as he walked us toward my father. He pulled the gag down from around his mouth so my father could speak clearly._

 _"Please, I've never done any harm to your kind. I have friends like you. Please don't hurt my wife and daughter. I'll do whatever you want, I'll give you whatever you want. Just please, don't hurt them," my father begged._

 _"Oh, you're going to do that regardless, now you give this pretty little lady the combination to your safe. I'll take what I need, and I'll be on my way," James said._

 _"I—i—it's her birthday," father said. I could only hang my head. My father was such a fool. A stupid, trusting fool. He didn't even realize he just made a deal with the devil himself. James was going to take his money, and violate me or mother or us both anyway._

 _"Where's the safe beautiful?" He whispers in my ear. I try to pull my head away from his foul breath which smells of dried blood._

 _"I—i—in father's s—s—st—study," I tell him. He just throws his head back and laughs._

"Don't be scared of me, little girl. You and I are going to be good friends. And just so you know pappy, I already done pulled the safe out the wall," He then reaches into his pocket and begins to pull bills and throw it up in the air. My father watches in horror as it floats down to earth.

"NO!" My father and I yell at the same time as he begins ripping my dress from my body. He then unties the hoop skirt I'm wearing underneath and throws it across the room.

"I don't know why you rich women insist on wearing all this crap," He says as he rips away my bloomers. I'm still in my corset and bodice as he throws me down on the floor, right in front of my father. He climbs on top of me as he unfastens his pants. Once he does, using his legs, he spreads mine open and begins to violate me right in front of my father.

 **END FLASHBACK**

I have no doubt this is Edwards next step. I would only be doing Bella a kindness to end her life now. But now, something is tugging at my heart that won't let me end her. I now see myself in her. _You need to help her stupid girl!_

"You need to shut the fuck up, I don't have a conscience," I tell that voice in my head. _But you used to. Before James beat it out of you. Well, James isn't here anymore, so I'm baaaack!_

Over the next week, I continue to watch as Edward beats the shit out of Bella, threaten her about killing her parents, and raping her in every despicable way he can think of. I want to help her, get her away from him. But once I get her what the hell am I suppose to do with her. I feed on humans, I don't keep them as pets, and I certainly don't befriend them.

As I'm sitting in watching the Cullen house. I almost fall out of the tree when the little pixie psychic sneaks up on me.

"WHAT THE FUCK! WHY ARE YOU SNEAKING UP ON ME?" I ask her.

"Because you are the only one that can help her." I furrow my brow

"Who?"

"Bella, of course, silly," the little pixie's bell-like voice giggles.

"Why aren't you helping her?" I ask.

"Because I have to go to the Volturi. It's the only way to stop Edward. He's already threatened to kill my family if I breathe a word to them about what he's doing. This goes way beyond Bella. He's going to get us exposed eventually, and we will all be dead. If I involve the family, everyone ends up dead except Jasper, of course.

"What makes you think I can help her?" She giggles again and taps her temple.

"Because I've seen it. You'll have to call your mate to help you," she said. I growled at her.

"You've already killed James, my mate," I told her ready to rip her throat out. She just rolls her eyes at me.

"Come on, Vicky. You and I both know, you've already figured out James was not your mate. Did you know James came after me too, when I was human? I didn't have any human memories either. But then, I was in an insane asylum, so that may have something to do with it," she said as she furrowed her brow a little as if she was trying to remember something.

"Anyway, a caretaker there changed me to keep James from getting to me. But then James killed him. I woke up without any memory or even what I was. James was a monster Victoria. And that is exactly what Edward will be if we don't stop him," she told me.

"If you have no memories, how do you know all this?" I asked her.

"Same as you. Seeing what Edward is doing to Bella, in my visions brought it all back. Plus, James left me some details on the little videotape he used to torture Bella. Did you also know, when you came into the baseball clearing, he was coming after me and not Bella? Anyway, I have to go before I miss my flight to Italy. Laurent will be visiting my family in a few hours. You can call him then. Tell him it's a matter of life or death. You guys will find a way to get her to Alaska." Then as quickly as she came, she was gone.

As soon as she left, I pulled out my phone and called Laurent. I immediately went to his voicemail.

"Laurent, please this is awful. You have to come and help me." Not five minutes later my phone rang. I look at the caller ID and its Laurent calling me back.

"Vicky, sweetheart I'm on the way. You can explain when I get there," I could hear the wind in the background, so I knew he had already begun to run.

"Okay, Laurrie, but please hurry. It may be a matter of life or death," was all I said before hanging up the phone.

LAURENT

 _"Jean-Luc, old friend._

"I fear I may need your help. It's Victoria."

"Laurent, my friend. It's good to hear your voice again. You know I am always here for you, whatever you need. I just so happen to be living in Quebec now. How can I be of assistance?"

I explained the situation as I knew it thus far. That James had met his final death and my mate and I was finally free to be together.

I knew James was a greedy bastard, much like Jean-Luc, the only difference, Jean-Luc was a powerful businessman, and earned his money earnestly. James, on the other hand, took what he needed and wanted. He was also a powerful tracker. Even better than the tracker guard of the Volturi. James used his ability as though it were a game.

I had tried to take Victoria on many occasions and flee with her, only to be tracked down by James. On several occasions, I had enlisted the help of Jean-Luc. I was his sire, and we had a bond and loved each other dearly, more as brothers, and he would have done anything for me. However, I would not put him in danger. I would only ask for money when needed, or a safe house for us to escape. I did not want James to ever pick up his signature. Many times Jean-Luc offered us safe passage to France, but James would either track us down before we made it to safety or because of the hold he had over Victoria, she was forced to stay due to her forced mates bond.

It was during our time of escape, James played his game with the young girl from the mental hospital. Had she not escaped him as well, we may have been home free. However, I'm sure it would have been only a matter of time before Victoria's need to be with him would have forced her back to his side. Whenever we made an attempt to escape, Victoria is the one who paid the price. He would beat her severely, threaten her life. He knew getting to her was also getting to me. When I left this last time, I'd finally had enough. I could no longer continue to play this game. I'd spent nearly two centuries trying to keep the woman I loved safe, even if she was no longer mine. No more.

Now she was calling. James was finally dead, and maybe, just maybe she was finally free.

"I really don't know what the situation is as of yet. I am running from Alaska to the Olympic Peninsula now. Forks, to be exact." I told him.

"If you are able to get to Port Angeles, I can have both a plane and car waiting for you there. Both will be supplied with money and supplies to take you wherever you need." Jean-Luc replied.

"That's excellent, but I fear this time I may need more than that. Her words were this may be a matter of life or death. I lost her before because I went unaided. This is my last ditched effort to get to my love."

"Say no more. I will meet you there with Sebastian and Jean-Claude. I will need at least six hours."

"You know the small airfield in Port Angeles then, I shall meet you there. Thank you, Jean-Luc."

"Laurent, We spent a century together. When I asked you for immortality, I told you what's mine is yours. Whatever you need brother. No thanks required. I just wish I'd been there as we agreed for you to claim La Petite." Jean-Luc always blamed himself. It had been agreed that He would ask Louie for Victoria's hand, take her back to France. The journey would result in a fatal accident, taking the life of Jean-Luc and Victoria. It would mean the end of business dealings in New Orleans. But Jean-Luc said it was worth it for my happiness. It was I, however, who left in such haste to get to Victoria sooner.

Once I'd crossed over into Vancouver, I called Victoria again.

"Meet me in the baseball clearing were I last saw you," Victoria said as she answered the phone.

"Should I be prepared to fight, Victoria?" I knew this wasn't a trap, but not knowing what I was walking into had me anxious.

"No, at least not yet. It's not me that's in danger. I'll explain when I see you,"

"Don't hang up, ma Chére," I speeded up my pace and was over the Mount Olympia in mere moments. When I came into the clearing, she was there.

"Ma Chére?," I said as I disconnected the call. Victoria turned towards my voice. The smile that lit up her face as she saw me was like a million stars. She ran towards me, but stopped once she reached me, but her smile still shined as bright.

"You look as good as the first day I laid eyes on you," she said as her fingers brushed over the features of my face and into my hair. I grasped her hand and brought her palm to my lips.

"I remember everything, and I'm so sorry. I should have left with you when you first offered." The venom tears that filled my eyes matched hers.

"You, remember," was all I could say. She then leaped into my arms with such force she knocked us both to the ground. I quickly pinned her with her back on the forest floor my legs straddling her hips.

"Laurrie, as much as I would love to begin where we left off, it's not safe here. We have to go to Bella." I closed my eyes at her words. I quickly got off of her.

"Vicky, I told you, I would not help you seek revenge. The Cullens left her unprotected. She wants nothing else to do with vampires."

"It's a lie Laurrie. He lied to them and to her. She never said that. He has been abusing that poor girl for weeks. It's what made me remember everything James did to me before he turned me. I know now I was nothing more than his pet. I love you, Laurent. I always have. I know that now. The pixie is going to the Volturi to turn him in. We have to get her away from him. She said we were the only ones that could and keep him from destroying her and their family.

"Laurrie, she is me. I have to help her."

"Show me, Victoria." She smiles and grabs my hand. We take off for a run through the forest. We climb the trees about a mile away from a street with only a few houses. Vicky points to the house. Once we see an older man leave and get into a police cruiser just after dark, I see Bella come into the room. She's holding onto her side as if she's in pain. She pulls her hair up into a messy bun but plays with her hair a bit. She then pulls off her robe and sits on the bed. I see her petite body is littered with old and fresh bruises.

I remember when I first saw the young girl with the Cullens. She was a lovely girl. Now, she's too thin, her hair is lifeless, and she looks to be in pain. Her eyes don't have that sparkle they once had.

We then see Edward Cullen come out from the forest behind her house. With one leap he enters her window. She shows no sign of being alarmed as if she is resigned to what is happening to her. She complies and lays down on the bed, yet he still held her by her throat as he takes his nail and reopens a wound on her breast and begins to drink.

He then handcuffs her to the bed. It's then Vicky turns her head into my neck. "Come, love," I tell her.

We start to run towards Port Angeles to meet Jean-Luc.

"Where are we going, Laurrie?" Victoria inquires.

"We have to get a car, Vicky. We can't carry a human to safety on foot. I thought I may need backup if you were in trouble. I have money, a car, supplies, and a plane, waiting to take us wherever we need to go. We need to get her back to the Cullens in Alaska. But first, we are going to need to persuade her she can trust us. The last time she saw us we were with James. As far as she knows, we could be after her for his death," Victoria looked ashamed.

"A few weeks ago she would have been right," Victoria hangs her head.

"Ma Chére, we can't dwell on what was. We can only focus on the here and now," I tell her, lifting her chin to look at me. She gives me a small smile before giving me a chaste kiss on the lips.

Once we reach the small airfield in Port Angeles, I see Jean-Luc. He is still as handsome as ever. Victoria looks down at her state of dress, and I can tell she feels self-conscience.

"Don't worry ma Chére we'll get you cleaned up in time. Let's take care of the new little one, hmm," Vicky nods her head.

I walked over to my old friend, my brother and wrapped him up in a brotherly embrace.

"So tell me, Frére, what you need from me. It seems La Petite is safe," Jean-Luc said.

"Yes, well the little human pet of the other coven I told you about is not, and it seems Ma Chére has found a kindred soul in the girl and wants to take her to safety," I told Jean-Luc

"Well, what are we waiting for let's go get la Bébé," Sebastian said as he got out the driver side of a dark tinted Caddilac Escalade, followed by Jean-Claude coming around from the passenger side. It had been so long since I've seen all of my friends. We gave each other manly hugs. Victoria clung shyly behind my back.

"You will have to excuse my mate. She is ashamed of her appearance. She just got out of the same experience as the little one we are going to save, which is why she is so eager to help." I told them.

"Do not be ashamed, little one. I just wish this asshole had been more confident in our fighting skills back then. It would have been our pleasure to rip that piece of shit apart," Jean-Claude said, lightly punching me in the chest. This caused Victoria to giggle.

"Come on, Frére. Let's go save a damsel in distress," Sebastian said as he climbed back in the driver's seat.

"I will stay and get the jet ready in case it's needed," Jean-Luc told us.

"Still never the one to get your hands dirty, I see," I told Jean-Luc as I help Victoria into the back of the SUV.

"Why should he, when he's got us. And believe me Frére, we are well paid for the job." Jean-Claude replied as he closed our door before flitting around to the passenger side and climbing in.

Thirty minutes later and we were pulling up on Bella's street. We parked around the block and got out, and the four of us crept around the back, the way Victoria and I had seen Cullen come. As we approached the house, the first thing we noticed was the scent of fresh blood, yet there was no sound of a heartbeat. I quickly scaled the tree next to the window Cullen had entered. I looked in the window of her bedroom, there was no sign of Bella or Cullen

"Laurrie, be careful. You know he can read minds," Vicky said from the trees. I nodded my head to her. As I eased the window up, I immediately caught the scent of blood and sex that permeated her room. I walked over and checked the bed. The sheets were stained in blood and other body fluids. The handcuffs still hanging from the headboard. The bed was still warm. Meaning she hadn't left long ago.

"LAURENT!" I heard Sebastian call out to me. "Come on Frére. Your lady just took off like a bat out of hell." I immediately jump from the window and landed to the ground in a soft thud. Sebastian met me on the ground.

"Jean-Claude went to get the car. She heard a car backfire. Her eyes widen before whispering Bella and taking off through the trees. I immediately ran to the front of the house.

"It has to be Bella. The old beat up truck is no longer here. She must have tried to make a run for it," I say to Sebastian. I look at him wide-eyed as he points to the direction Victoria went. I take off in that direction with Sebastian hot on my heals. We soon notice Jean-Claude behind us in the car.

It's not long before we come upon a horrible sight. Bella's old Chevy is wrapped around a tree and on fire.

* * *

 **Did any of you miss that Alice wasn't in the conversation when Edward ordered them to leave or when Laurent mentioned only four Cullens were there when they arrived?**

 **Frére=Brother; la Bébé= Baby girl; Ma Chére= my dear; La Petite=Little one; Grand-mère=Grandmother**

 **My husband wouldn't physically restrain me, but he would leave in my car, leaving his car but taking the keys with him. Not that I could drive his car, it was a stick and I didn't know how to drive a stick back then. A couple of times he would leave me without running water in the house, by turning off the water at the meter.**


	7. On Hiatus

**This story will not be continued. At the time I started this story, my mind was in a really bad place. My ex-husband had just passed away from illness related to his years of drug abuse. When his sister contacted me that he was dying and going into hospice, for some stupid reason, I went to visit him before he passed away. I had some foolish notion that he would see his wrongdoings to me on his death bed and he could pass on with us in a good place. I wanted to forgive him, I really did. But instead, he told me that I'd hurt him but that he forgave me for that a long time ago. For a few moments, I sat there, confused as to what I could have done that I needed to be forgiven for. I even asked him, what I did wrong. Until I realized that he was doing it again. He was making me feel like I was wrong and he was right. My son took me to see him and had to help me out of there.**

 **When I got back home, I sent a message to his sister an told her not to contact me again until he was buried six feet under. She told me to go to hell, I told her I live there for six years, and still vacation there from time to time.**

 **Unfortunately, everything, I thought I'd lived through was long over until it came bubbling to the surface with that one visit. And that's how this story came along.**

 **As much as I love Twilight, the books and the movies, I can never see Edward as more than an abusive, controlling man like my husband. Alice, as one of my sisters-in-law that at one time was my best friend. Rosalie as the sister in law bitch that told me to go to hell, and Esme as my Mother-in-Law that despite knowing what her son was doing was wrong, she was still his mother to the end.**

 **Upon my visit with the bastard, she called him and wanted to speak with me. She told me how glad she was that we were finally making amends. Only because I was raised to respect my elders, I didn't tell that bitch where to go and what she could do with her amends.**

 **I guess the moral of this AN is I am now trying to get past that chapter of my life. It took me this long, nearly a year after his passing, to come to grips with everything as I had become just numb. Again.**

 **I haven't decided yet if I want to pull the story altogether, or just leave it as is. I still feel like I put my heart into but at this point, I don't want to relive anymore.**

 **So thank you all who followed this. And I'm sorry, Bella won't get her HEA here. I didn't.**

 **On another note. I think I like where the story was going with Victoria and Laurent. I may write a spin-off of that story in the future.**


End file.
